Legend has it, we hail far from the South end of the most Northernly lands. Beyond many snow-packed mountains and glacier fed rivers, we have roamed the Peninsula of Kenai for many a year.
Some say the men of AKSF are chiseled from stone by nay but the Greek Gods themselves. Other legends have it that one has the ability to call up salmon and sit back as they spring forth, directly into his ocean steed. The other has a fabled history of having a mystical gaze - One that entrances any who dares make contact with his brilliant eyes. There is one truth that cannot be deemed legend, only by the sheer known fact from all around them, that they were put here to protect this realm.
With decades watching over these lands and experiencing its beauty, we have come up with a solution to a vast problem that has been steeping in the Earth and in the air.
By means of expertise potion brewing, we have devised a way to unite the environment into a well-fitting, symbiotic relationship with itself once again; By taking the most natural and ancient route possible. Merged with ingenuity, we here at Alaska Salmon Fertilizer have developed the ultimate product for your garden as well as the perfect solution to alleviate the over two and a half million pounds of salmon waste that impacts The Cook Inlet every year.
Maybe now Taylorious will actually get his shittith(?) together and write an 'About Me'.
But in the meantime, enjoy this hilariously awkward 'About Me'.
- Baconius Maximus Out
"There is something of the marvelous in all things of nature."
- Aristotle -